Cork Open 2008

Some tournaments you come home from, you dump the bags on the floor and over one last cheeky beer you wonder ‘Was that worth it? I spent a rake of cash and all I’ve got is a bruised body, a sore head and loads of dirty clothes…’ Cork Open’s a bit different. Sure there’s the physical pain (and lately that’s been coupled with a strong taste of disappointment) and a bit of wallet damage but it’s easily ignored when you think back…Thirsty Scholar mayhem with the Belgians, MaC’s jerseys, sunshine all weekend, durka durka Harry Redknapp durka durka, Luan’s drop in the final and so on. Sure, the final result wasn’t what we went down for but what we learned along the way will stand to every one of us come the next time out.

I guess I’ll start with the trip down. A gang of us aimed to get the train down but this was whittled down to two by the time 6pm Friday came around – me and Luan. We ran in to Tommy, (well, he hobbled into us) who was pretty gutted not to be playing (‘Have a beer mate’) and later met Blonde who was B&B-ing it. Brave man. 4 beers and loads of wheelchair borrowing later we arrived in Cork and headed to the pub. A jammed Thirsty Scholar was the venue for many shenanigans, cheap booze, funny costumes and sweaty dancing. Soon it was last orders and 6 of us headed off to Ger Canning’s summer residence. We piled into Langball’s wee car, locked as you like, lead by ringleader and sessioner-in-chief, Darron – that guy knows how to put a few jars away. On the way back we had our first of two excellent chipper visits – KCs in Douglas. Even though they covered my chips in mushy peas (apparently, that’s a supper, boy) KCs was an inexpensive and very fancy take away – highly recommended!

Sun shining and very little wind was the weather for our Saturday morning start. In our pool we had top seeds Chimpo, Ultimate de Lux, and DCU 1. First up were Ultimate de Lux – a mix of assured handlers, hard cutters and athletes who were keen to improve on a good outing last year. This year they had brought more of their regular players and were quietly confident of causing some upsets. Unfortunately, for them, they didn’t adapt well to our aggressive zone and soon the turns were becoming frequent. Despite an equal start (trading to 2s), the Luxembourg heads dropped after conceding a run of points and the game proved to be one-sided from there onwards. Final score: 10 – 2 to Broccoli.

Game 2 of the day saw us play a very spirited game against DCU 1. We didn’t warm up well and found it hard to get motivated knowing the big game of the day was the Chimpo match two hours later. DCU were quick out of the blocks though, and worked the disc simply and calmly up the pitch to take a 1-0 lead. That woke us up and got us motivated pretty quickly. We wanted to focus on taking away the in cuts and on point-marking aggressively, and both worked well against a team who turned over a little too much. Despite Fiona’s impressive cutting (mentioned by everyone who had to mark her!) and Dave’s throws, DCU couldn’t register another score and the result was 13-1 in the greens favour.

That brought us to the big match of the Saturday, what both teams were hoping was a dress rehearsal for the Final the following afternoon. Two strong teams, with nearly two lines each, on a decent pitch and in the sunshine: perfect. It was a fast game, both teams eager to keep the disc moving and to put as much pressure on the throwers as possible. While we used a lot of zone Chimpo were poaching in towards the disc, looking to draw us into the deep shots. With Mavis and Hag mopping up what we put, along with a few drops and some bad overthrows, they quickly gained the upper hand. Try as we might, our defence wasn’t getting as many turns as we wanted, and unfortunately, when we did get them, we were guilty of trying to force the issue a little too much. A tough game felt tight but ended 13-6 in favour of JC, another big margin despite what seemed like a close battle. Frustrating didn’t quite cover what we felt. That said, the game meant little and we walked away knowing we could play better against them.

If that was a low of the weekend what followed was ridiculous. So, we all trekked back to Douglas having showered (apart from Donal who prefers ‘smelling of man’ apparently) and were ready, and pretty damn eager to get to the pub. Instead we spent about 45mins standing outside Langballs house. Now there’s lows and then there’s just ripping the piss. Apparently Wysey had decided to take a short cut using his Sat Nav. – he’ll be a long time waiting for forgiveness. Anyway, we eventually got to the pub after a lot of excitement at finally moving to see Hull nearly catch United then Spurs absolutely skank Liverpool. Durka durka Harry Redknapp durka durka. Nialler and Luan got involved in some old school handbags, peanuts were put in every drink going and poor Jim did his best to keep up with us but just couldn’t hack the ferocious pace. Booze, pizza and back to Ger Canning’s summer residence for costumes and Wysey’s favourite – the Kings of Leon.

I like fancy dress, especially when it’s in some way offensive, takes a little time to prepare and falls into place despite a lack of preparation. Dressing as Team America terrorists ticked all these boxes – an afro wig cut to bits, a toy rifle, any plain clothing that could pass as ‘desert wear’, a silly amount of face paint/bronzer and repeated shouting of ‘durka durka’, ‘Mohammed Jihad’, ‘sherpa sherpa bakala’ and so on. Jagerbombs and into town to follow ‘Pete the DJ’ who’d left early to make sure he had his best records with him.

Cypress Avenue was a much fun as last year with the finger food, the stage, the seating area and a somewhat liberal bouncer approach to those found up to no good outside (‘we’re not causing any trouble, don’t tell your boss and we’ll keep the noise down’ ‘no, no, we wont throw any more toy guns across the street I promise’). FUF managed to get in this year, due to their Euro-homme good looks coupled with pink t-shirts, but were soon shown the door after one of them was ill about 3 feet from the head bouncer. MaC were dressed to the nines as an English Hen Party and owned the stage for the night. Chimpo had diplomatic immunity, sharp suits and kept a close eye on the bomb threats and shots fired, directed at the birthday boy Doyler. Trinity were as obscure as always, while BUG arrived as bobsleigh teams and stole the Best Costumes/Party Award as a result. There were two gripes with the party – sorry Pete – but the music was rubbish. There’s only so many time La Macarena can people happy, apart from Luan that is. The late no-show DJ may be responsible for that one, still, no need to deck Pixie! And then there was the ‘No Doubles’ rule at the bar…bizarre behaviour… ‘Howeya. Double Jager and red bull please’, ‘No Jagermeister’, ‘Oh, okay, double whiskey and coke’ ‘I can serve you two singles but no doubles’. ‘Can you put them in the same glass?’ ‘No’ ‘Why not?’ ‘I can’t, sorry’. Don’t mention this to Donal, he was especially upset.

Naturally enough the night ended with the biggest Hillbillies feed we could afford and a taxi back to the ranch where Luan attempted to keep going. I was out for the count within minutes. Big quarterfinal the next morning, especially given our loss at the same stage last year!, this time against Jerk Factory – sure they don’t drink much at all…

Sunday morning and we were at the pitch first. This was a new, and welcome, experience. We had a chat, a throw and did a quick warm up before playing the Jerks. It was an open enough game to start but the combination of a strong zone and us having the handlers to work around their zone meant the score ticked away until we were 4 or 5 ahead. Factory came back into the game late on with Gary taking a couple of nice catches, and promptly retiring, but it was too little, too late. Aids, Seamus and Ciara all played very well too. 12-5 (I think). A fun Sunday morning game against a spirited team looking to play enjoyable Ultimate, surrounded by a sideline of drunks.

That meant we won through to play 9-man FUF, while Chimpo took on the Ultimate de Lux team, who’d been improving all weekend, in the other semi-final. We warmed up well, spoke about what the game meant to us and started brightly. It was a fast game with FUF relying on strong throwers to break the mark and us exploiting tired legs with our long game. The teams were relatively evenly matched despite us having a numerical advantage and we traded until 4s I think. We were getting turns on the mark and from marking hard under, but giving them the disc back with a few simple mistakes, not to mention a delightful dropped pull from yours truly. It started with an inner monologue - ‘This is the first pull I’ve caught all weekend. Wouldn’t it be gas if I dropped it. Shut up and concentrate…’ *drop* Despite this setback, we battled on and as the game continued we began to stretch away. There was a 3 point swing at 6-5 that saw us go 8-6 up. Time was called at 9-8 with us receiving and a patient score for Oisin on the break side saw us win by 2. The Belgians were probably the friendliest, most relaxed team we played and with another 3 players we would’ve had a much tougher game on our hands. Special mentions go to Jim, Oisin and Nialler who wee particularily strong throughout. After the game the FUF players proved a dab hand at the catapult, hitting the target area with 4 of 6 shots!

A 2 hour break gave us time to get some food on board before the much anticipated final against JC. Since last February’s farce of a final in Limerick and given recent friendly losses we were particularily motivated to perform. We knew who we had to pressurise, what game we wanted to play and what the opposition would be looking to focus on. We warmed up, spoke and started. Before we knew it we were 4 points down and forced to call a time out. We hadn’t done too much wrong – a couple of long shots were overcooked, and one or two bad drops. We were getting turns but being turned too easily. The break did us good and we traded to half – which was taken by a ‘turn over time out’. Still 8-4 was a big ask against a team who you can’t let get ahead. We came out much stronger after the break and soon we were converting our Ds. The crowd was loud and naturally cheering the underdogs. Still, the drops kept coming and Chimpo took every advantage of them. 10-7 was the final score and we were gutted. We’d built up to that game since a couple of weeks before it took place, we’d focused on it all weekend and in the end a sloppy start cost us badly. In fairness to them, they retained the disc well, were very fluent on offence and got turns when they needed them, especially at the very beginning of the game.

* I forgot to mention a quite memorable moment in the final... Broccoli were working the disc up the pitch, close to the sideline near the raucous MaC support. The disc found it's way to Donal who was handling, and having a solid game. He looked up field, weighed up his options and took on the 'up the line flick', a tricky throw, but one he has down to a tee. What he didn't take into account was getting pointblosked by Emer, the only girl on the pitch. Bang! Point Block. Cue wild screaming from the girls on the sideline and much snarling and fist pumping from Emer - fair play!

Finally, a big thanks to UCC for yet another great event, to everyone on the sidelines who made the final a special memory, to the Broccoli players who were exceptional all weekend and especially to those who were away – texts from Ghana & Guatemala no less! As Dman put it (before he confessed his undying man love for his team):‘This is the best tournament in Ireland – thanks a lot to Cork – and keep coming back’. I don’t think many people will ignore that advice…

MVP of the Final: Peter Forde (Broccoli)
Broccoli MVP: JD
Broccoli MSP: Luan

Broccoli Squad: Marko, Oisin, JD, Langer, Luan, Wysey, Jim, Nialler, Pete, Robin, Donal, Rickard, Darron (Sat only), Padraig (Sat only), Softy (injured/head cheerleader) & Col (injured/emotional drunk).